Darkness

There are two kinds of darkness in this life.

The first one is comforting. It is the sort of darkness that envelopes you in a welcoming and soothing way. It is warm, soft, and cozy. You feel as if someone (the Father) is wrapping you in a fur coat and protecting you from the elements, from wild things that purpose to bring harm to you. This is a safe place.

The second is unlike it in every way. The second kind of darkness is cold and lonely. There is no comfort, no reassurance here. It is dark and cold, an unforgiving place. There seems to be no end to this space and this lends to the crippling fear that clutches your heart. This emptiness is so profound that you aren't even sure if there is a floor. You begin to fear that you are merely resting on a pedestal suspended precariously above an eternal abyss. You get the sense that you may be mere inches from the edge of this pedestal, but your fear grips you so tightly, that it paralyzes you and you are too terrified to stretch your fingers out and feel for the edge, so you merely huddle in your precarious place, quaking and shivering with fear. You have no idea how large this expanse is, the silence seems to echo in the emptiness, lending even more to your terror. Your heartbeat seems to vibrate your body, its pace fast and hard. You are vulnerable. You are alone. You are without hope.

I don't know about you, but I have experienced both places of darkness, one soft and warm, one empty and cold. But there is good news if you are in the place of emptiness: God wants to pull you into His warm fur coat and carry you to safety. His footsteps are solid, but soft. If you listen, you can hear him approach. Do not be afraid of His touch, He doesn't mean to scare or harm you, but to being you into His arms and carry you to safety.

Friday Mayhem

Have you ever noticed that people go CRAZY over Fridays and the end of the workweek? They anticipate sleeping in, partying, eating out, and overall general merriment. Such is not the case for a stay at home mom. No. We stay at home moms half look forward and half fear Fridays. Why, you ask? Because our kids know that it's Friday. They know that Daddy will be home all weekend, that there's always some sort of activity going on, be it a birthday party, a church event, or a sporting event. They get excited about the things that Fridays and the weekend bring. This makes them behave like crazy people. Wait a second...kids always behave like crazy people. Let me re-phrase: this makes them behave like crazy people on CRACK. I see you through the screen, mama. I see you nodding along, chuckling under your breath, your hair a mess and your eye twitching. You know. You feel me. You are counting down the moments until your husband comes home from work so you can pee by yourself, right? Shhhh...don't laugh so loudly. The kids will want to know what's so funny and the answer, "an internet article" won't satisfy them. I know. I know because I am you.

Every Friday I rejoice that it's nearly the weekend, but, being a stay at home mom, I don't get a weekend, so I'm pretty sure that the only reason why is because my husband will be home for a few days and I really enjoy being with him. Heck, maybe the kids will fall asleep at a decent hour and we won't be too tired to have sex! But moms don't get to sleep in on Saturdays. I often get after my husband for sleeping in on Saturday mornings. Why? Because I'm jealous. Oh, I'll freely admit it. But after getting on to him a bit, I remember that I should leave him alone to sleep in because someone should be able to, even if it isn't me! After all, he deserves it as much as I do. Gone are the lazy Saturdays of old, however. We usually have to be out the door by noon to whatever event is going on that week. Not so tomorrow, however. Tomorrow it's 8:15. I'm really not sure how I'll pull that one off, too be honest. Saturdays and Sundays are a flurry of getting little girls dressed, doing their hair, finding shoes that somehow become lost in the middle of the night, and eating a nutritious breakfast, which is easy for the baby, who still breastfeeds. Half of the time, we run out the door with a box of organic cereal and two cups, plus a toddler who is crying because she wants milk in her cereal. Yeah...milk in the minivan...no mas.

Does the madness ever end? Why do stay at home moms still crave the weekends? Because it brings family togetherness, I suppose. It doesn't matter if we are playing a game of Story Cubes in our living room, or singing loudly to the Frozen soundtrack while driving, we are together. That's what matters, right? Right? Now pardon me while I go make yet another cup of coffee.

Happy Friday! (Maybe that is more like an insult...I haven't decided yet.)

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...

Welcome to Crunchy in Kentucky!  In this blog, I will be exploring crunchy living,  home birth,  breastfeeding, parenting, marriage, humor,  writing,  and,  most importantly,  chasing Jesus.  Join me on this crazy ride of Holy Crunch!